Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
