you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
