i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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