Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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