dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
