So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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