if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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