I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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