did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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