That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
