I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
