He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
