i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
