What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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