you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
