I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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