we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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