it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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