You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
