You're so nebulous sometimes
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
