My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
