Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
