this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
