I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
