So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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