if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
