i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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