Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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