my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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