the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
kristin has been a bad kristin
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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