He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
