okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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