that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
