The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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