Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
