help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
