Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
