Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
