Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
