Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
