I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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