I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
