you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
