i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
