I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My penis needs a shock collar
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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