The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
