Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I met the friendliest cop last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
