Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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