hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
