Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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