Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
