she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she told me i tasted like america
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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